


Small Victories Take Precedence Over Bad Losses In Trying Times

by TheSeeingStar



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Brief Mention of Suicide, Canon divergence during C2 E86, F/M, First Time, Fluff, Found Family, Near Death Experience, Porn With Plot, Possible D&D rule breaks (shhh don’t tell my DM), Widojest - Freeform, poetic licence with cantrips, some light gore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-04
Updated: 2019-12-04
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:35:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21669856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSeeingStar/pseuds/TheSeeingStar
Summary: **SPOILERS for C2 episode 86**An AU in which the fight in the Cathedral didn’t go exactly to plan. One of the M9 stares death in the face, but could there be a silver lining to the dark cloud hanging over the group...
Relationships: Jester Lavorre/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 4
Kudos: 93





	Small Victories Take Precedence Over Bad Losses In Trying Times

**Author's Note:**

> My first fic in years! NaNoWriMo got my mojo back, so here we are. Obviously the first thing I decided to do was to ease back into it with some good old fashioned smut. There’s a plot at least so I don’t feel too bad!
> 
> While I can’t find anywhere confirming my suspicions, I’m pretty sure Jester has spare the dying as a cantrip. And also a pearl of power according to my husband... But please forget all that because poetic licence ;)
> 
> Enjoy! xx

For many years now, Caleb had been certain he would die long before old age. He was amazed he’d made it this long, first through his training, then his long stint in the asylum, escaping, starving on the streets for almost five years, prison... It was strange, he thought to himself, how being with the Nein hadn’t felt the same, as though he was just clinging on for survival, even though it was the period of his life that had been by far the most dangerous. Before, it had just been him and his madness and his guilt. Now, he had a life. Not one he deserved, but a life nonetheless. He tried to laugh mirthlessly, but it came out a strangled choke in his ruined throat, slashed open by one of the cultists. Of course now was the time he’d finally take on board some life lessons, right at the end.

And it was the end, he knew that with certainty. And it terrified him.

Not just because he didn’t know where he was going to next. And not just because he knew if there was a next life, it wouldn’t be pleasant for him. But because he didn’t feel ready to go. He’d considered suicide so many times over the years, and now that he finally wanted to live, he was going to die. He didn’t want to leave his new family. The thought made tears collect heavy at the corners of his eyes.

He’d seen them after Molly, how they’d stayed strong together, but only just. They’d not known the lavender tiefling long but he’d touched all their lives irrevocably. Now, after so much time together, he knew his own death would be even worse for them. He didn’t think much of himself, that was putting it lightly, but he knew they did. He’d never understand why anyone would choose to spend time with him, jaded, depressed, quiet, with a past as dark as the sky above Rosohna. And yet they did. It was all that had kept him with them in his darkest nights where leaving felt the right thing to do. Now he was going to leave them anyway, and in the worst possible way.

Head lolling to one side, vision blurred and dark with the last tendrils of consciousness holding him prisoner, he realised he was calm. Calm, cold and numb. He knew his friends were close, but with his sight failing and his brain running slow with the blood loss, they were just shapes and movements in the dark. A flash of blue robes, Beau throwing punches like her life depended on it, which it did, he thought in sick amusement. Green energy exploding in a shower of sparks, Fjord getting to grips with an old attack courtesy of a new patron, a giant Pumat Sol grappling with two much smaller creatures beyond him. Lighting flashed through the enormous smashed stained glass windows, the dark shape of Yasha silhouetted as she swung an arc with Skingorger. Distantly, he heard someone scream his name the high pitched harsh rasping of Nott. The tears that had earlier threatened spilled over at that, knowing not only that his passing would hurt her the most, but that with him likely went her only chance of becoming Veth again.

His weight shifted curiously, head lifted painfully for a moment and then something soft under his temple. A cold hand on his cheek gently moving his head straight and Jester filled his vision. If he’d been able to breathe through the blood gushing from his throat, she would have taken his breath away. She was pretty, exotic, strong and lithe, but that was nothing compared to the sunshine she brought to everything she touched.

She was crying, he noticed, and that just wasn’t right. He wanted so badly to comfort her, but he found he couldn’t move. He couldn’t speak either, but that was probably for the best. He’d loved her for such a long time now, maybe even since the mines where they'd fought the gnolls, definitely since their stint as pirates. He loved her so much, he’d never said a thing about it. She didn’t feel the same anyway, but even if he’d suspected she did, she deserved so much better than him. All he’d ever do was cast shadows over her light. So he’d loved her from afar, and that had been enough. Now she’d hold him while he died and it was a fresh sort of pain to know she’d blame herself in part. She always felt guilty when she went on the offensive instead of conserving her spells to heal. They’d all told her plenty of times she shouldn’t feel bad, that is was a completely valid strategy and that she shouldn’t put so much pressure on herself. It never stopped her feeling guilty though, and his chest ached for her.

"Caleb..." she sniffled, "I’m so sorry. I can’t... I can’t heal you..." she scrubbed at her eyes and made a little anguished sound, trying to pull herself together for him. "Everything’s going to be ok..."

He knew it wouldn’t be. She had no spell slots left, and Cad was the entire other side of the cavernous cathedral barely holding his own against the cultists. He wanted to tell her to go and help the firbolg, or to run and get to safety. Anything but waste her time with him. He gargled pitifully on her lap, choking out a sob. The last thing he saw as his vision went black was her tear stained face contorting as she wept for him. He could still feel and hear, though it all felt ethereal and distorted. The battle raged on around him through the deafening pulse of what blood remained in his body rushing in his ears, crashes, blasts, thunder, wood cracking, glass still falling from the windows, frantic footsteps. Fjord yelling from across the room, Yasha screaming with rage, Nott pleading.

Cool lips pressed to his forehead and the rest faded away. "I love you, you stupid squishy wizard. Please don’t leave me. Please hang on, ple...." was the last thing he heard before nothing.

**********

"Come child. It’s not your time yet." A motherly voice whispered in his ear. It warmed him, red hot fluid flowing through ice cold veins from the core outwards. Soft hands on his chest. And then, agony. A deep gulp of air forced into his lungs. His eyes opened wide to bright light, sound rushing in his ears. He flailed, finding himself sitting upright, Beau and Jester supporting his arms as Caduceus sat in front of him looking relieved.

"There you are. I wasn’t sure I’d got to you in time." Cad breathed out a sigh, and Caleb even in his confused state knew it must have been an extremely close thing for the usually calm Firbolg to look so stressed. He winced as his body started to ache all over, head throbbing. He brought a hand up to his temple with a groan. "Oh, sorry, yea lets um... anyone else need a little help?" Caleb felt immediate relief as the firbolg used mass healing word. He heard others sigh around him, thanking their friend. He tried to do the same but found his throat was parched and all he could do was cough.

"Here, drink this!" Nott landed in his lap, thrusting her never empty flask in his face and tipping the rusty tasting alcohol from it down his neck. He was too weak to stop her, managing a few gulps before he spluttered and gagged on the liquid.

"Nott! Don’t kill the poor guy again, Sheesh. You alright man?" Beau asked from beside him, visibly shaken but pretending she was ok. He went to answer but was cut off by Nott flinging her arms around his neck, holding him so tight he could barely breathe.

"Don’t you do that again!" He brought his arms up to hug her back, knowing how she felt after her own recent close call revivify in the happy fun ball had shaken him to the core.

There was a loud metallic clatter to one side of them, and he turned his head just in time to see the body of the last cultist fall in two distinct pieces to the floor, Yasha sheathing Skingorger with a satisfied nod before making her way over. Jester, crouched beside him on that side, was unusually quiet he noted. She was flushed and sunk in on herself, almost embarrassed he thought, and frowned in confusion. Why would she be.. oh. Her last words before he lost consciousness came back to him. He felt his own cheeks flush, and wondered if their dual unease would be enough to prevent a conversation about it from occurring.

He was distracted from any thoughts of awkward conversations by a loud rumble, the building quaking around them. The bells held high in the cathedral tower above them sounded with loud, ominous chimes, joining the distant cacophony of the city warning bells ringing out as the Krin attack went on.

"They did it." Yasha said hopelessly as she reached them, voice only just audible above the rumbling and the bells. "They broke the first set of chains."

A chunk of masonry crashed to the floor from one of the stone arches high above, tiny shattered pieces of stone raining over them.

"Uhh, I don’t mean to be dramatic or you know uh but... I think we should probably be leaving..." Pumat came from behind him to join them, staring worriedly up at the ceiling. Or at least as worried as Caleb had ever seen any firbolg look.

Together, they piled out of the main chamber of the cathedral, Beau helping him while his legs still felt weak. As soon as they entered the atrium, he fished some chalk from his component pouch and threw himself to the floor, frantically drawing out the intricate patterns and runes of a teleportation circle.

"Shouldn’t we go outside to do this?" Fjord asked, eyeing the main chamber through the doors.

"Too wet." Caleb stated simply.

His friends paced nervously, and he tried to block out the sounds of rubble falling ever faster behind them. There were shouts outside, city guard arriving finally, the last thing they needed. A deafening thud, a cloud of dust and debris raining over his back, Caleb's hands moving as fast as they could and finally the last line was in place.

"Everybody on!" He shouted hoarsely above the roar of the collapsing building, scrambling to place the jade piece on the centre rune. The others gathered around him as the jade glowed bright green and with a rush of light, there was stark silence as they arrived in Yussa's tower.

Within moments, they heard the pattering footsteps of Wensforth growing louder on the stairs, and the well dressed goblin poked his head around the door. "Not to be rude, but you have been reminded before to let us know you're coming."

"Yea, sorry bout that. We were in kind of a rush." Beau waved, halfway between apologetic and dismissive as she flopped to the floor beside Caleb looking exhausted and sore from the fight. He hadn’t moved from his stretch to place the jade crystal, but now rolled on to his back, letting out a shuddering breath of relief.

"Well I'll uh... I’ll fetch master Yussa. Wait here please." The goblin disappeared back through the doorway. The other members of the Nein one by one followed Beau and Caleb's example, joining them on the floor in silence. The relief that they had all survived the encounter was muted by the knowledge that the first of Tharizdun's chains had been broken, and that they had no idea where Obann would be heading next.

Caleb was the first to break the silence as they waited for Yussa. "Caduceus, how did you reach me so quickly?" He struggled to sit, looking to the firbolg curiously.

"Oh, that was Fjord. He used his thuderstep to get me to you, Jester passed me the diamond and then, the rest of your gratitude should go to the Wildmother. She did the hard work." Cad smiled calmly, an edge of pride for his goddess clear in the expression.

"Thank you, all of you." Caleb said earnestly. "I... did not believe I was going to make it."

Cad's smile broadened. "Yet here you are. To paraphrase Beauregard, we've got your back."

"Speaking of giving thanks, I owe you mine as well Caduceus." Yasha added quietly. "I don’t think I will ever be able to repay you enough for breaking Obann's control over me."

Caduceus waved away the praise, and Caleb could have sworn the pastel tones of his pink cheeks darkened fractionally with a blush. "It was a team effort, all of it."

"And you know, things could have been worse you guys." Jester shrugged, still undeniably subdued, but trying to be her usual positive self. "We're all still alive, we got Yasha back, and Caleb took down the Laughing Hand soooo... really it was a win if you think about it. It just could have been a better win, that’s all."

The rest of them nodded, but the silence descended again, weighing heavy. Eventually, footsteps could again be heard on the stairs, and Yussa appeared on the chamber.

"Has something happened?"

"Obann managed to break one of Tharizdun's chains in Rexxentrum. We tried to stop him but..." Beau swept a hand over her hair and sighed defeatedly. 

"Oh. That is not good. That is very not good." Was all Yussa could say.

"Ya, so if you could let Allura know that’d be great. I don’t know about you guys, but I feel the need to go get incredibly drunk now." The monk hopped up from her position on the floor, eager to leave. Caleb knew she took defeat hard. He and the rest of the Nein followed, standing sombrely.

"And the Tal'Dorei Council too. Do you know who’s on that yet by the way?" Jester added on the way out.

"I’ll be sure to let them know." Yussa waved them out, looking as worried as the rest of them about today's development.

They made their way through the busy streets to the Lavish Chateau, the people here refreshingly oblivious to what had transpired hundreds of miles away to the north. Caleb couldn’t help but hope it stayed that way, that the next time Obann struck they succeeded and shelved his plans for good. For now though, he’d settle for a good meal, a bath, and a comfortable bed for the night, eager to sleep off his injuries.

"Hey, Caleb." Beau hung back to speak with him as he trailed behind the rest of the group, his discomfort making him slower than usual. "Why'd you bring us here? Why not back to Zadash?"

He hadn’t really thought about it at the time, though he’d realised as soon as they’d landed at Yussa's that Zadash would have been a more logical destination. "I thought Jester could do with a visit to her mom after today. And Nott could see Yeza and Luke of course." Was all he could come up with. He realised it probably wasn’t even a lie, the blue tiefling was all that had been going through his mind while he drew the circle to get them out. Beau seemed satisfied with that answer and left him to his thoughts, catching up with Yasha ahead.

When they got to the Chateau, Marion was as pleased as ever to see them. Jester sank into her mother's arms, clearly relieved to be with her again. It turned out she was performing that night, which perked Jester up a little. It was already early evening in Nicodranas, and after Marion graciously provided them each with rooms, Caleb exhaustedly took full advantage of his, retiring to bed as soon as he’d finished a bowl of interestingly spiced Nicodrani stew, leaving most of the others downstairs enjoying the Chateau's entertainments. Or, more likely, drowning their sorrows he thought as he slipped into a deep sleep.

**********

Caleb woke suddenly, startled by the sound of three quick knocks on his bedroom door. He blinked the sleep induced fog from his mind, concentrating to work out the time. 3:45 in the morning. Summoning a flame to light the candle sat beside the bed, he took it with him to open the door, bracing himself in case of attack.

He breathed a sigh of relief to find Jester on the other side looking sheepish.

"Jester? Are you alright?"

"I’m sorry, did I wake you?" He went to comment about the time but thought better of it, disappointed that she still looked troubled despite the visit home.

"It’s alright. Come in, what do you want?"

She stepped around him into the room, flopping down with a huff into an armchair beside the bed. He closed the door and sat on the edge of the bed, trying not to look too nervous.

"I can’t sleep. I just keep thinking about today, and everything that went wrong, and the fight and you..."

"Me?" Caleb's heart clenched in his chest.

"Yea well... you nearly died today Cayleb. Like, really, properly died. It was super scary." He let out a breath, unsure if he was relieved or disappointed. "If you had died," she added quietly, "it would have been all my fault." She looked down at her lap sadly.

He leaned forward towards her, speaking softly. "Jester, it absolutely would not have been your fault. It isn’t your job to heal us, I wish you wouldn’t put all that weight on your shoulders. You fought very bravely, as you always do. You save us all the time, in so many ways."

She lifted her head and looked at him intently. "Thank you Caleb."

"You’re welcome Blueberry."

"Cayleb?"

"Hm?"

"Did you hear anything, before you died?"

His blood ran cold. "...Like... what?"

"Like me. Talking to you."

"I... I uh... well..."

"Oh shit, you did didn’t you!" She threw her head into her hands and moaned mournfully. "Fuck!"

"No, Jester... I didn’t hear anything, honestly..." he lied feebly.

"Yes you did!" She shrieked, flustered.

"...Ja." He admitted quietly. She groaned, mortified. "It’s ok, really..."

"Ok!? It’s not ok, it’s terrible!"

"It really is..."

"No, no because now you know and you’ll treat me differently, and I’ll treat you different, and it’ll be all awkward and then the others will find out and..."

"...Jester...."

"...It’ll be so embarrassing they’ll read into it every time I look at you, and Nott will keep on trying to set us up on dates and..."

"...Jester..."

"...the others will join in and they’ll think it’s hilarious and..."

"...I love you too."

Jester stopped talking immediately and sucked in a little gasp, breathless and adorably flustered. "What?" She squeaked.

"I love you too." He repeated, hardly believing he’d actually said it out loud to her. He instantly wished he hadn’t. It would have been better for her if he’d just played it down and sent her off to bed with the reassurance that he wouldn’t say anything to any of the others, but after the previous day they’d had, his resolve was running on empty. The fight, almost dying, the breaking of the chain, and returning to Rexxentrum had taken a toll on him. And, perhaps, bolstered him a little he realised. He’d never been one for the sentiment that life was too short, but then again, he’d never come quite so close to dying before. Or been involved in an attempt to stop the Chained Oblivion from escaping before either, and the odds were looking worse and worse there. Maybe life really was literally too short...

Regardless of his doubts and the existential crisis going on in his head, he had told her now and he owed her an explanation. "I have loved you for a long time. But you’re just... you’re too good for me Jester. You’re too bright and happy, and I'd only hold you back..."

He was prevented from saying any more as her lips landed on his, followed by the rest of her as she straddled his thighs. He just about saved himself from falling back onto the mattress, grabbing her back as she kissed him hard. He pulled his mouth away, leaning his forehead against hers, eyes closed.

"Jester..." his breathing was ragged already. His body screamed at him to give in to her, his mind quickly coming to the same conclusion. "We can’t."

"Why not?"

"I told you," he brushed his nose over hers, their lips just barely touching, lust clouding his judgement, "I’m not good enough for you..."

She sighed in irritation and kissed him again, tongue probing at his lips. This time he hesitated only briefly before giving in and opening his mouth to her, fingers buried in her hair, tongue sliding against hers, the last of his willpower slipping. He kissed her hungrily, the strain of wanting her for so long making him almost desperate.

"Woah Caleb..." she breathed against his lips when they broke for air. "You’re really good at that."

"Danke." He bent his head to kiss her neck, nipping at her flushed blue skin with his blunt teeth, eliciting a moan from her. His body responded to the noise, blood rushing to his cock which was already half hard, and before he could think straight to make himself stop, she had yanked her nightgown off over her head, horns momentarily getting caught endearingly in the white cotton. He stared at her in awe. He’d seen her naked before of course, but this was completely different. Before she hadn’t been doing it for his benefit, and he’d always averted his gaze. Now, here she was not only naked but sitting on him and undeniably horny. And she loved him. That took his breath away above anything else.

She rose up on her knees, bringing herself closer to him as she sat further up his thighs. His cock, still inside his bed trousers slid against her, and even clothed he could tell she was already wet. He let out a shaky breath and she grinned devilishly.

"You like that Caleb?" She asked, more of a statement than a question. She repeated the movement, rising up and sliding herself down over him. He moaned, eyes fluttering closed. She undulated her hips over him, staring intently at his face as he felt himself harden completely, hips jerking up instinctually toward hers. Worried that if she continued he may well cum right then and there, still clothed and awkward, he put his hands on her hips to stop her and rolled her over on to the mattress.

Kissing her again, they worked together to strip him of his nightshirt and trousers. Jester ran her cool hands over his newly bared skin, making him shiver as he worked his mouth over her jaw, throat and clavicle. She was predictably vocal, making little noises that shot straight to his cock, making him ache. He was so close to her, but made himself stay poised above, never letting their hips touch, even when she tried to buck up into him. He knew his head wasn’t clear enough right now to hold on to his climax, let alone to go slowly, painfully aware as he was that this was her first time. He knew he needed to slow things down and regain control.

Taking a steadying breath he moved down her body, kissing a line down her stomach. With one glance up at her, he found her watching him curiously, holding her gaze as he dropped a kiss to her inner thigh. She mewled and let her head fall back. He swiped his tongue through her folds, finding her already gratifyingly wet, her taste musky and slightly sweet and absolutely perfect. Repeating the motion, he rolled his tongue, penetrating her just a fraction. She gasped, spreading her legs wide for him. Hands clasping her hips, he began to fuck her with his tongue, lazily slipping the muscle in and out of her. She writhed, trying to buck her hips while his hands held her still on the bed. He moved his mouth up to suck on her clit and she near enough screamed.

"Jester, you’ll wake everyone..."

"Stop being so good then!" She screeched out as he flicked her clit with the tip of his tongue. "Ok no, I changed my mind, don't stop, please don’t stop..!" She bit down on her bottom lip, and Caleb decided he couldn’t care less if she woke up all of Nicodranas. He pressed a finger inside her, followed by a second, sliding them in and out in a steady rhythm as he returned to sucking on her clit. She tried to keep quiet, but her moans gradually grew in strength and pitch and Caleb loved every moment of it. He curved the tips of his fingers upwards slightly, remembering back to what had made Astrid shudder all those years ago. A few swipes of his tongue over her now engorged clit and one last hard suck, and her hips jerked as she tightened around his fingers, cumming in breathy shrill pants. He let her ride it out, withdrawing his slick fingers and pressing light kisses to her thighs as the spasms gradually subsided.

She lay there on her back for a few minutes, skin flushed and sweaty, chest heaving while she came down from the high, a wide lopsided grin on her face. He moved to sit beside her, leaning back against the headboard.

"Shit Caleb." She sighed eventually. He smirked, feeling pretty smug. Rolling over, she reached out to brush her fingertips over the head of his cock, looking fascinated by it. He wondered how many dicks she had really seen in person. None up close he was sure, especially with how intrigued she seemed by his.

Shifting to kneel beside him, she darted her tongue out to press against his tip. He groaned, eyes hooded as he looked down at her.

"You don’t have to."

"I want to." She replied with a genuine smile. Her pupils were blown still after her recent orgasm, lashes low but eyes still wide with innocence as she looked up at him and took him into her mouth without breaking her gaze. He nearly came then and there. She began to move over him, inexperienced, the pressure not quite enough and the angle awkward, but he let her find her own way, the occasional accidental drag of her tongue up his shaft, the warm wet heat of her mouth on him, and the fact that it was her slowly bringing him closer with her cool lips enough to leave him feeling overwhelmed.

One of her fangs accidentally brushed over his delicate skin and he let out a choked sound, tangling his fingers gently in her hair as the pleasure built. A dark part of him wanted to grip her hair tight, hold her to him as he fucked her mouth, tip buried in her throat as he came to the sound of her gagging. He was not that man any more, but the fantasy was arousing all the same. As his balls ached and tightened almost painfully, he placed one of his hands over hers resting on his thigh and interlinking their fingers, lifted them both together to wrap around his shaft.

"Jester, stop." He breathed out shakily. She pulled her mouth away and looked up at him in confusion, a little hurt perhaps, but as he moved their joined hands up and down his length a few desperate jerking times, his cock jumped as he came with a choked cry, eyes rolling shut and head lolling back.

When he caught his breath enough to come to his senses again, he forced his eyes open and looked down at her. She was studying the white substance now coating their still joined fingers and his gradually softening cock. With a barely audible hum of curiosity, she lapped at his tip to taste his cum. He let out a stutter as she licked the oversensitive skin with the tip of her tongue and her eyes found his while she considered it unashamedly.

"It tastes weird." She said simply. "Not like I thought it would, but it’s ok I guess. Next time don't tell me to stop." She waggled her eyebrows comedically, but there was a twinkle in her eye that told him she absolutely wasn’t joking, and his stomach clenched at the idea that she was enjoying herself enough to want a next time.

Wiping her hand on the sheets, she scooted onto his lap and kissed him, his lips sluggish as his brain still recovered from his climax. Her hips undulated against his again, seemingly not caring about the mess now coating both their thighs, but it was too much sensation for him, nerves on fire still, and he grasped her waist to stop her.

"Jester, this isn’t like your smut books, I need time to recover." He rasped out against her eager mouth.

"Oh. Ok." She looked apologetic as she sat back, her beautiful chest flushed lilac. Not for the first time that night, he concluded that he did not deserve her. "What should we do now?"

"We can lay together." He suggested lamely. She smiled radiantly and moved off of him, laying down on her side in the sheets and patting the space beside her. Settled next to her, faces only inches apart as he looked into her lavender irises, it was all Caleb could do to force himself to stay awake. You’re an old man Widogast, what are you doing with this beautiful young thing? He thought to himself. He knew it wasn't exactly true, thirty three wasn’t old, but after the life he’d had he certainly felt older.

Determined to make this the best experience he could for her, he pulled himself together and began to run his fingers up and down her side in teasingly light touches, brushing the edge of her breast, skirting over her hip and the very top of her thigh before moving back up the same path again. It had the desired effect, Jester closing her eyes, lips slightly parted as she lost herself to the sensation.

When her breathing had seemed to quicken just slightly, he bent his head without warning to take her nipple into his mouth. She jerked against him and moaned in his ear as he tongued the swollen bud, back arching to press it more firmly into his mouth. He rolled her onto her back and releasing it with a pop, took the other nipple into his mouth. Propped up on one arm over her, he ran the now free fingers of his other hand over the taught muscles of her stomach to the dark blue curls on her abdomen, diverting his course a mere inch from her still swollen clit, instead settling them on her inner thigh, tracing tiny arcane runes in the sensitive skin there. She moaned in frustration, hips arching off the bed in an attempt to get him to move to where she wanted him. 

He switched his attentions back to the other breast in answer, her subsequent whimper shooting straight to his groin as his cock quickly began to harden again. A few more minutes of his teasing touches, and with a growl she grabbed his face in both her hands and yanked his mouth up to hers, kissing him hard and desperately. He responded in kind, nipping at her swollen bottom lip, making her gasp and shudder against him. Manoeuvring himself to lie on top of her, he took his cock in hand to guide it to her folds, happy to find her soaking wet still and very, very eager. Gathering his thoughts, swallowing hard as he took a deep calming breath, he paused poised above her.

"Jester," he said, surprised at the rasp in his voice, "this is the point of no return. I need to know you’re certain you want this with me." Breathing out a half moan half gasp, she pulled his mouth back to hers in a searing hot kiss, and he took that as the only confirmation he was going to get. 

Steadying himself, he pressed through her folds, moving agonisingly slowly into her slick channel. A few inches in she whimpered against his lips, a subtle little noise he knew was pained. He stopped instantly, ashamed to feel a stab of intense arousal at the thought that he was taking her virginity.

She had other ideas however, bringing her feet up to wrap around his slender hips, crossing them at the ankles and urging him on as deep as he could go, right up to his hilt. Caleb thought it might be the most erotic thing he’d ever experienced in his admittedly not very experienced sex life.

He stilled, barely breathing for fear of hurting her further while she got used to the stretch of him, and when he drew back to look at her, there were unshed tears at the corners of her eyes.

"Blueberry," he breathed out, kissing her forehead, "there’s no rush if you’d prefer to stop. We can try again another..." he didn’t even get to finish the sentence before her mouth curved up in a wry grin. Swallowing her tears, she shoved his hips with her feet, sending him even deeper into her.

"Point of no return you said Caleb. Now fuck me." He silently thanked the authors of all the smut books she’d read that had taught her to say things like that.

She sucked in a breath as he slowly withdrew, crying out when his hips snapped back into her, this time more pleasure than pain. He held back still nonetheless, keeping his rhythm steady and his strokes only ever pushing three quarters of the way into her. Her fingers dug into his shoulders, hips rising to meet his but not quite getting there as he continued to hold back, thinking it was best for her. He yelped as she nipped hard at his shoulder with a growl.

"Cayyyleb!" She whined, licking at the redding mark on his pale skin. "Stop it, I’m not made of glass!" Her feet shoved hard at his ass, forcing him the whole way into her, making them both gasp.

He braced himself on his arms and knees, thrusting into her hard, adjusting his pace to match the quick rhythm her own hips set, working with her instead of against and trusting that she knew what she wanted. The change was instantaneous and sublime. Her head fell back against the pillows, mouth hanging open as she moaned and squealed, her pitch growing ever higher as he drove her towards the edge. He tried to drown it out as much as he could, focussing on a dark knot in the wood of the clattering headboard, the sound of her coming undone beneath him drawing him unbearably close.

He grit his teeth and started reciting old apprentice level spells in his head, anything to try to distract himself from the way her body writhed under his, her thighs gripping his hips tight, nails clawing at his back and the noises in her throat growing ever louder and more desperate. Hips faltering as his orgasm threatened, he managed to awkwardly slip one hand between them to pinch her nipple, rolling it between his thumb and forefinger. With a rasping cry, she erupted into shudders, back arching up off the bed as she spasmed tight around him, eyes wide and stunned. He buried his face in her neck, moaning loud into her skin as he emptied himself into her, cock twitching and spurting frantically.

When he regained enough of his consciousness to drag his head up to look at her, she was smiling contentedly, stroking her fingers lazily over his scalp. "Are you Ok?" She asked him brightly. It occurred to him distantly that he should be the one asking her that.

"Ja. That was just... it was a lot."

"In a good way?" She frowned concernedly. He gave her a withering look, still panting as he rolled off of her. She grinned from ear to ear and curled into his side. "Yea, I thought so too. You’re really good you know Cayleb."

"You don’t know." He breathed tiredly, pulling the crumpled sheets up over them both.

"I’ve got an aching vagina that says differently." She smirked, kissing the hollow of his throat. He smiled at that, wrapping an arm around her, still feeling all floaty and boneless.

"I’m going to sleep now liebling." He sighed tiredly. He heard her giggle, but she settled in beside him like she planned to do the same.

"Hey Caleb?" She said just as he was nodding off.

"Hmm?"

"Do you mind if I wake you up with a blow job in a while? I liked the faces you made earlier."

He grinned to himself as his mind slipped into sleep, having some very pleasant dreams for the first time in a long time.


End file.
